The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
if i had a dollar for every time i had 77 cents, i'd be a white man
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) December 8, 2015
The Chanuka miracle of your kitchen smelling like potatoes and stale oil for 8 nights after only making latkes once.
— Festival of Lux (@LuxAlptraum) December 7, 2015
i bet mary had a hell of a time getting a kid who could walk on water into the bath tub
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) December 9, 2015
I want to congratulate Kris Jenner on the birth of her new client.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) December 7, 2015
what's it like being a woman in finance what's it like being a woman in law what's it like being a woman in farming what's it like being a w
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) December 10, 2015
It Happened to Me: I Took an Internet Break and Didn't Even Tell Anyone About It
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) December 11, 2015
nothing more simultaneously satisfying + frustrating than realizing youre definitely smarter than the man trying to explain something to you
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) December 10, 2015
I'm so bitchy, I need to fucking relax. - said no woman ever.
— Boss Chick™ (@SexytotheNorth) December 8, 2015
*eats snack while looking for a better snack*
— Jen (@SouthernJen85) December 7, 2015
*prays that saint west's middle name is bernard*
— Lauren Zupkus (@laurenzup) December 7, 2015
some personal news: i've had a standing desk for approximately 28 minutes. been exhausted for 27 of them. death has been imminent for 26.
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) December 7, 2015
"I want to punch you most of the time", and other romantic things I say.
— Goddamnit Jamie (@Jay_FrickinLynn) December 7, 2015
Kid: what's it like being an adult? Me: well you know how sometimes you hate your parents? Kid: yeah Me: like that. But instead, yourself.
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) December 7, 2015
Christmas gift ideas that don't cost anything: 1. Hugs 2. A walk together 3. Stolen electronics
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 11, 2015
when u plug ur iphone into ur laptop to charge it and itunes is like I'M HERE OMG HI HOW CAN I HELP LOVE ME!!!!!!!
— Julia Bush (@jabush) December 10, 2015
Every reality show on E! should just be called I'm Rich: Fuck You
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) December 10, 2015
Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) December 11, 2015
why don't they make those animatronic singing Christmas dolls do something useful like pour my wine
— Manda Likebaubles (@Manda_like_wine) December 9, 2015
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